Our Lady Peace - Burn Burn

What the hell happened to OLP?

With the release of their new record BURN BURN, I was on an all out high. Not from pot or pills, mind you, but from the groovy beats of a bitchin band I fell in love with during my impressionable years. These guys spoke to me in high school and grade school. I thought I was different because I enjoyed a band that had little mainstream success in America. Not only that, but they were from America's hat: Canada. Lord knows Canada knows how to kick some major ass - Hello Ryan Gosling! I've always wondered if he ever rocked out to some OLP in his rebellious youth days.

Anyways, the band that I so vehemently fell for in my youth have turned to be fraudulent in my ripe old age. They just don't "rock" the way they used to. No really, they sound like a poor man's Nickelback - and that's SAD. Really sad. How sad? Let's examine shall we; Nickelback is basically a poor man's Nirvana or Foo Fighters, and not even a good one at that. Stolen riffs, structure and power chords comprise a band that rip off themselves from time to time by putting out the exact same song on a routine basis. Think I'm just a bitter music fan? Think I'm joking? Listen to Someday then listen to How You Remind Me and hope that the radio jockies opt to never play them back to back on Nifty Nickelback Tuesday. I understand that most people will tell you good people borrow, great people steal - but really, from yourself?

Back to OLP, this new album is supposedly a return to their roots of hard rock and bitchin body moving riffs. None of which appear on this pop radio, adult alternative, contrived and convoluted excuse of a jam record. It's basically ballads and poor radio rock songs: neither of which appeared on their debut up to their fourth album. Their originality has waned, they've lost the amazing falsetto their lead, Raine Maida, once possessed, and all their great songwriting seems to have gone when lead guitarist Mike Turner left. Nowadays, people seem to recall scarce memories of a time when these guys shared air time with Nickelback, Saliva, and Puddle of Mud: all bands I absolutely despise. This band was different. WAS different. Anymore, they could probably be lumped together with the likes of despicable bands. And that's what pisses me off, these guys are better than this. Way better.

I don't know what happened. Some bands get old and try new things. Some bands give up and go the radio route to stay relevant. And some bands try hard only to sound like Matchbox 20 on a bad day. Or maybe the world's radio airwaves are being littered with the dance craze that's been swiffering the nation: Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, Katy Perry and countless other bullshit artists. But hey, at least Kings of Leon are doing alright. I fucking love KOL.

Magic Eye for Magic Inspiration Blog

Click below to experience all the majestical pain of a Magic Eye picture. Can you find the hidden specialness behind the vast array of words? I really hope you can.

Screenwriting Gold Blog

This may or may not be funny to you. It depends on a few things, such as, if you write screenplays (one aspect of the comedy), find hilarity in absurdity (another aspect of the comedy), and finally, can appreciate black humor (probably the mosts poignant of the aspects of comedy). If you can honestly say yes to any or all three of the merits of criteria then you'll be in for a delightful treat of genuine hilarity, or "A Gallon of Guffaws" as I'm so adamant about labeling it.

Ball's Out: The Screenplay

Rummage through the god-awful, early 90's, Angel-Fire style homepage and you'll find the script. Give them your two cents and let them know if you feel like you've any compassion left after reading this opus.

Of course, this film will never be made. How could it? A lot of humor is in the narrative and slug lines. You can't film "CAPE motherfucking COD". It's impossible to visualize the blinding radiance that is the "sheer intensity" of Tom Cruise.

But God Damn! do I ever wish it was possible.

By reading this, I was able to conjure up a horde of mental images that compelled me to further my screenplay writing. Not to the absurd level of this script, mind you, but just because it follows the basic formula of a "rise and fall of..." film. Once you see structure done in this way, it's not hard to write something in all seriousness. In all the seriousness Mr. Cruise musters when he saves people from Danger. He fucking hates Danger.

Smack My Bitch Up Blog

This leprechaun looking dude beat the shit out of a hooker the other day. I couldn't be happier, really, for it brought to mind a movie that I truly enjoy. I'm talking about Cape Fear! I'm pretty sure I've posted a blog about it already, but I feel not like rummaging through the past, but foraging towards the future!

Cape Fear was initially a black & white movie from 1962. It featured Robert Mitchum, one of the world's greatest stoners, and Gregory Peck, one of the world's foremost "fatherly figures". Odd seeing the two go at it onscreen, like a battle of good and evil, heaven and hell, and all that dandy stuff. Oddly enough, Mitchum is such a lynx when it comes to being suave that although he was the villian, I was rooting for him. He'll do that to ya.

Overall, I appreciated this film slighter more than the remake. Only slightly though. Don't get me wrong, I love Scorsese! I love DeNiro! I love them together! Together they've created many modern masterpieces that have stirred my imagination and sparked my creativity. But let's go hillbilly route here, i.e. "if it ain't broke den ya dont fix 'er". Which is cliche, yes, but true.

Anyways, back to the modern Cape Fear and it's occurance to me through a contemporary shenanigan. Something that seems to be more and more frequent amongst people that get a tongue in the cup of fame. People who becomes celebrities for nonexisting talents (anyone off The Hills, Tila Tequila, Nick Canon, I'm seeing an MTV trend here). Today's case in point, brought to you by ShamWow: The ShamWow guy!!!!!

Did he feel famous enough to not get his tongue bit off by a dirty pirate hooker? Hookers don't discriminate, just so ya know. And believe me, I know!

Here is the damage done to her:



Whoa doggie! Ouch, right?

Here is the damage done to him. Keep in mind, she bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. He had to use the sheer force of a male fist to pry himself loose.



So anyways, my whole point was that there was a scene in the Scorsese/DeNiro Cape Fear where Max Cady (DeNiro) is making a sweet sexy time to lovley lady. Overcome with ecstasy, Ol' Bobby opts to climax with a chunk of her cheek. No, not a facial, mind you. He fucking BIT OFF HER CHEEK. Kinda like a Cradle of Filth show, if you're askin' me. But don't ask me, I don't listen to that sick shit.

So, I'm just finding out that this cat ain't gon be doin no jail time. That's right, he's a motherfuckin P.I.M.P. Isn't he though? He must be a huge Prodigy fan.

Time Travel Blog

The Grandfather Paradox is the leading argument against time travel. Basically it is this:

"suppose a man traveled back in time and killed his biological grandfather before the latter met the traveller's grandmother. As a result, one of the traveller's parents (and by extension, the traveller himself) would never have been conceived. This would imply that he could not have travelled back in time after all, which in turn implies the grandfather would still be alive, and the traveller would have been conceived, allowing him to travel back in time and kill his grandfather. Thus each possibility seems to imply its own negation, a type of logical paradox."

At first glance, it appears that this debunks the myth, or possibility of the creation of time travel. You read that and go "there's a point" and you move on. But something just doesn't seem right about it. At first glance, I can't figure out what it is. Then it strikes me... This is all if we assume that life runs on a controlled path. That life is predetermined. Is it? To be able to look not just back, but into the future, life must be predetermined. You can't go into the future if the future is the unknown, or the result of the daily actions of your life. If that's the case, then you've got no control whatsoever over your life and every decision you believe you are making has already been made for you.

That's kinda fucked up. It's also impossible to resolve so I guess there's no point in dwelling on it.

Nic Cage Blog

People don't give Nic Cage enough credit.

Raising Arizona
Adaptation
Matchstick Men
Leaving Las Vegas
The Weatherman
Lord of War
The Family Man
Bringing Out the Dead
Wild At Heart
Face/Off

The man CAN act. Although he's become somewhat of a sensationalized version of himself, I still think he's got it. He knows the difference between an Actor and a Movie Star. Not to mention, he's pretty down to earth and knows how to appreciate self-deprecating humor.

It's Not You, It's Me Blog

Really though.

I love you all. But I've got artistic shit to take care of. I'll feed this vanity project once I've done something a little more meaningful.

Until then,
Shane