Thursday, April 23, 2009

Screenwriting Gold Blog

This may or may not be funny to you. It depends on a few things, such as, if you write screenplays (one aspect of the comedy), find hilarity in absurdity (another aspect of the comedy), and finally, can appreciate black humor (probably the mosts poignant of the aspects of comedy). If you can honestly say yes to any or all three of the merits of criteria then you'll be in for a delightful treat of genuine hilarity, or "A Gallon of Guffaws" as I'm so adamant about labeling it.

Ball's Out: The Screenplay

Rummage through the god-awful, early 90's, Angel-Fire style homepage and you'll find the script. Give them your two cents and let them know if you feel like you've any compassion left after reading this opus.

Of course, this film will never be made. How could it? A lot of humor is in the narrative and slug lines. You can't film "CAPE motherfucking COD". It's impossible to visualize the blinding radiance that is the "sheer intensity" of Tom Cruise.

But God Damn! do I ever wish it was possible.

By reading this, I was able to conjure up a horde of mental images that compelled me to further my screenplay writing. Not to the absurd level of this script, mind you, but just because it follows the basic formula of a "rise and fall of..." film. Once you see structure done in this way, it's not hard to write something in all seriousness. In all the seriousness Mr. Cruise musters when he saves people from Danger. He fucking hates Danger.

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